A question families ask
How long do Muslims mourn?
Three days, for most people. A woman keeps the prescribed mourning for no more than three days for any death, except for her husband: then four months and ten days, the length of her ʿiddah, or until she gives birth if she is pregnant. Grief itself has no deadline: tears are a mercy, and you may still miss them, and still ask for help, long after.
In more detail
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Three days
It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn a dead person for more than three days, except her husband, for four months and ten days. In all four schools, condolence is offered for about three days.
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1280 · Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār (Ḥanafī), 2:241 · Al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 1:419 · Al-Nawawī, al-Majmūʿ (Shāfiʿī), 5:306 · Al-Buhūtī, Kashshāf al-Qināʿ (Ḥanbalī), 2:160
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A widow’s ʿiddah
Those who are taken in death and leave wives behind: they shall wait four months and ten days. For those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth.
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What the mourning (iḥdād) means
Setting aside adornment, such as perfume, jewellery, kohl, henna and clothes worn to look beautiful. All four schools let a widow go out by day for her needs. After the first days, check in on a widow quietly, with help for errands and appointments.
Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār (Ḥanafī), 3:530–538 · Al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:478–479 and 2:484–487 · Al-Ramlī, Nihāyat al-Muḥtāj (Shāfiʿī), 7:149–157 · Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), 8:154–163
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Tears are not a lack of faith
When his son Ibrāhīm was dying, the Prophet ﷺ wept, and said: this is mercy; the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord. Allah does not punish for tears or for sorrow of the heart.
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