Is it allowed to cry when someone dies in Islam?

In more detail

• The Prophet ﷺ wept

  When his son Ibrāhīm was dying, the Prophet ﷺ wept. Asked “even you?”, he said: this is mercy; the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord. At the burial of his daughter, he sat by the grave and his eyes were shedding tears.

  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1303 · Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2315 · Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1285 (and its chapter heading)

• Tears are not punished

  Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but for this, he said, pointing to his tongue, or He has mercy.

  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1304

• What is forbidden

  He is not one of us who strikes his cheeks, tears his clothes and cries out with the cries of the Days of Ignorance. Al-Nawawī: listing the dead person’s virtues in lament, wailing, striking the face, tearing clothes, scratching the face, tearing at the hair and crying out in woe are forbidden by agreement of the Shāfiʿī school, and some report consensus. Someone overcome by grief is not held to account for what they could not help.

  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1294 · Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 934 · Al-Nawawī, al-Majmūʿ (Shāfiʿī), 5:307–308

• Where the schools differ

  Ḥanbalī: weeping on its own is not disliked at any time. Mālikī: weeping at the death and after it is allowed, without raising the voice or saying anything wrong, though holding back is better; with either, it is forbidden. Shāfiʿī: weeping is allowed before and after the death; most of the school say only that holding back after the death is better. Ask your imam.

  Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī, with the other schools), 2:406–407 · Al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 1:421–422 · Al-Nawawī, al-Majmūʿ (Shāfiʿī), 5:307–308

• “Is the one who died punished for our tears?”

  Some reports say the dead are punished for their family’s weeping. ʿĀʾishah said the Prophet ﷺ did not say that of a believer, and recited: no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. Al-Bukhārī titled the chapter: if wailing was that person’s own way. Al-Nawawī reports that most scholars read these reports as about someone who asked to be wept and wailed over; on that reading, one who did not ask for it is not punished for their family’s weeping.

  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1286–1288 · Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1285 (and its chapter heading) · Al-Nawawī, al-Majmūʿ (Shāfiʿī), 5:307–308

• Patience, and help

  Real patience is at the first blow of the loss. Tears are not impatience: the Prophet ﷺ wept, and called it mercy. If grief stays heavy, asking for help is not a lack of faith.

  Support while grieving

  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1302 · Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1284